Five Things That Every Great Bar Should Have

Some bars are better than others. It’s not always easy to define what it is that makes that all essential difference, what it is that makes one wooden floored rectangular room a bit of a dive and another one somewhere to die for. As often as not it’s something in the air – an indefinable essence, one of those things that you know when you find it, but couldn’t possibly begin to describe.

So in an effort to attempt at least five steps towards that impossible goal here’s five things that every great bar simply has to have.


Beer. Okay, not just beer. It has to have good beer – maybe even great beer. The news that the world’s two biggest breweries are about to swallow each other and so produce one third of all the world’s beer has sparked the fear that monopoly will lead to uniformity. But not in our perfect pub. Here the beer will be like nowhere else. It’s a no-brainer – and not just after a few pints.

Great Music. We say yes to music but no to ‘music’. Whether it’s a matter of playing it live or just a jukebox stacked with serious sounds – if there has to be music (which is a whole argument in itself) then it has to be something way better than bland.

Pokies par excellence. In our perfect pub there would have to be pokies to play on. But in it pokies could pay out like they pay out online, with free spins galore and fortunes up for grabs. They don’t have to be anything other than quietly there for when you fancy a spin, but pokies are part of the Australian way – they have to be in.

Bar food

Food to feast on. There is pub food and then there is pub food you’d go out of your way for. In our perfect bar the chips would always be fatter than your fingers, the chilli would be spiced to excite and the burgers would be juicily joyous. To be fair the menu could be anything – but it would always have to be taste-bud-tickle-icious.

bar staff

Bar staff to fall in love with. Another no brainier, but a genuine smile and a warm welcome go a long, long way when it comes to setting you up for that perfect pint. They don’t have to be beautiful or brilliantly witty – not if they don’t want to be – but they have to be happy to be there and they have to be ready to have fun.

What else could you possibly ask for – in life – never mind in a bar?

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